Elagastus
Established
Roleplay posts: 19
Registered: Sept 21, 2021 10:56:26 GMT -5
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Post by Elagastus on Oct 14, 2022 14:51:36 GMT -5
Nina lay in bed, limbs spread out, eyes stuck to the wooden beams supporting the ceiling. Slowly, she'd rolled around the blankets to dry herself, then put on new clothes. The first new clothes that she's gotten in a year, she thought. This time, no one even threatened to burn her old ones with her in it. The tunic was red. Of a simple make, until you looked closer and saw the subtle checkered pattern crafted into the weave. It reached down to her knees. It was so comfortable that Nina nearly fell asleep right there, if it hadn't been for the equally strong hunger pulling her from dreamland. So the travelling girl sneaked back to the kitchen. “I didn't realize that you could travel outside of Hell before.” She took a moment to compose her voice. She liked Elgastus, but it was always unsettling when remembering that people you appreciate had a past. “Were you,” she attempted, “as people, able to influence where you were going to be exiled, at all? It's not a bad place,” she whispered, “but it is so isolated...” It was hard to imagine it being picked either by an enemy or a friend. "Yes and no," Elgastus answered, fairly forthcoming. He took a pull of his pipe before answering. " We knew we had to go, but we couldn't really angle anywhere we were familiar with. Fresh-portals have to be angled on animals or mortals, so we shot for animals and hoped for the best."
"That answer it for ye?"
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Nina
Dedicated
Roleplay posts: 290
Registered: Apr 4, 2021 10:46:08 GMT -5
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Post by Nina on Oct 20, 2022 13:38:08 GMT -5
Nina nodded, and curled by the hearth. She ate one of the fish she'd brought, holding it by the head and tail. The skin was crispy and sizzling.
“I had thought that my world had touched yours, before.” The girl looked up at Elegastus. “When I talked to the King. But since then, I found out that it wasn't quite-” She thoughtfully bit into the fish. “A sacrifice was made in my world, that would keep yokai – what they might've used to call your people – at bay.” She hesitated. “To break our worlds apart. In the world raided by yours, that either was deemed too risky or it did not work. In my world, it did, but it also pushed other problems into the future – my present – allowing them to fester, unchecked.” She looked out of the window. “It's all quite strange, isn't it?”
She thought of New Isra, and how people one had known for their entire life could wake up one day, remembering a life story completely different.
“Which choice was, in the long term, 'better'? Do good and bad lose meaning once you start counting in hundreds of years?”
To her, it was the weight of generations. Secrets and lies, lost along with kernels the truth that had survived their initial destruction, save for the slivers left in Gray's broken mind. To Elegastus, it must've been yesterday.
“I...” Nina blinked. The warm stone behind her was dulling her wits. She leaned closer against it. Hers was a smile frail and awkward. “How can you care for someone who will be gone so soon?” She raised her palm, curling her fingers against silvery, imaginary wings. “I must be the equivalent of a Mayfly.”
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Elagastus
Established
Roleplay posts: 19
Registered: Sept 21, 2021 10:56:26 GMT -5
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Post by Elagastus on Dec 19, 2022 13:36:38 GMT -5
Nina nodded, and curled by the hearth. She ate one of the fish she'd brought, holding it by the head and tail. The skin was crispy and sizzling. “I had thought that my world had touched yours, before.” The girl looked up at Elegastus. “When I talked to the King. But since then, I found out that it wasn't quite-” She thoughtfully bit into the fish. “A sacrifice was made in my world, that would keep yokai – what they might've used to call your people – at bay.” She hesitated. “To break our worlds apart. In the world raided by yours, that either was deemed too risky or it did not work. In my world, it did, but it also pushed other problems into the future – my present – allowing them to fester, unchecked.” She looked out of the window. “It's all quite strange, isn't it?” She thought of New Isra, and how people one had known for their entire life could wake up one day, remembering a life story completely different. “Which choice was, in the long term, 'better'? Do good and bad lose meaning once you start counting in hundreds of years?” To her, it was the weight of generations. Secrets and lies, lost along with kernels the truth that had survived their initial destruction, save for the slivers left in Gray's broken mind. To Elegastus, it must've been yesterday. “I...” Nina blinked. The warm stone behind her was dulling her wits. She leaned closer against it. Hers was a smile frail and awkward. “How can you care for someone who will be gone so soon?” She raised her palm, curling her fingers against silvery, imaginary wings. “I must be the equivalent of a Mayfly.” "to be frank with you lass, life wouldn't be worth living otherwise." He said, clearly not the first time he'd been asked this. "You need all things in life, the ups and downs, the joy and the pain, or else your existence is simply that, existence." He leaned over and stoked the fire, the room brightening a bit in response.
"The humans have a saying, 'better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all'. You get what I'm saying?"
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Nina
Dedicated
Roleplay posts: 290
Registered: Apr 4, 2021 10:46:08 GMT -5
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Post by Nina on Dec 25, 2022 12:10:23 GMT -5
“I don't,” Nina said.
She wrapped one arm around her knees, and stared past Elagastus.
“Butterflies are beautiful in part because they're ephereral...eremphe...” She struggled, and shook her head. “They live little. And there are cycles, seasons, in which nature could not grow had it not previously died.” Her index finger traced an absent circle.
Did civilizations have seasons too? Did a time of peace and plenty naturally result in suffering and war? The Clocktower had its cycles, and it had brought peace. Sometimes. But at its core, it was pain.
“But deep in the northern jungles, there was a place without winter.” Nina whispered. Something about the depth of her voice suggested she spoke of her old world. “There, nothing ever changes, except when a tree falls. And that's beautiful too.”
The traveller rested her damp hair against the warm stone.
“Maybe there is no meaning to winter,” she spoke. “Maybe it's simply the meaning we are forced to give it, because it exists. Or perhaps it's the meaning we choose to give. Gray-” Nina cut off. “Someone I know, says that it's all in the mind. Is there meaning to...meaning?” Nina looked as if she lacked the words. Not only to ask the question, but to even approach the thought with more than a sideways glance.
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Elagastus
Established
Roleplay posts: 19
Registered: Sept 21, 2021 10:56:26 GMT -5
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Post by Elagastus on Dec 25, 2022 14:38:06 GMT -5
“I don't,” Nina said. She wrapped one arm around her knees, and stared past Elagastus. “Butterflies are beautiful in part because they're ephereral...eremphe...” She struggled, and shook her head. “They live little. And there are cycles, seasons, in which nature could not grow had it not previously died.” Her index finger traced an absent circle. Did civilizations have seasons too? Did a time of peace and plenty naturally result in suffering and war? The Clocktower had its cycles, and it had brought peace. Sometimes. But at its core, it was pain. “But deep in the northern jungles, there was a place without winter.” Nina whispered. Something about the depth of her voice suggested she spoke of her old world. “There, nothing ever changes, except when a tree falls. And that's beautiful too.” The traveller rested her damp hair against the warm stone. “Maybe there is no meaning to winter,” she spoke. “Maybe it's simply the meaning we are forced to give it, because it exists. Or perhaps it's the meaning we choose to give. Gray-” Nina cut off. “Someone I know, says that it's all in the mind. Is there meaning to...meaning?” Nina looked as if she lacked the words. Not only to ask the question, but to even approach the thought with more than a sideways glance. Elegastus got down on the floor, sitting next to her. "There's a world of humans that have no magic. They have no special abilities beyond what they can build. No other sapient besides themselves. On this world, they have a concept called 'the human experience', it's the idea that life has meaning because we exist to give it meaning. That it has no meaning, but the fact that we exists gives it meaning to us. What meaning is there to a waterfall if we are not there to experience it? What meaning is there to the forest if we are not there to experience? Sure they'll go on without us, but they merely would exist for existence's sake. Now imagine taking that philosophy and applying it to a world with multiple sapients? The Dwarven Experience, the Elven Experience? The Fiendish experince? With a world like that, everything has inherent meaning because we give it meaning."
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Nina
Dedicated
Roleplay posts: 290
Registered: Apr 4, 2021 10:46:08 GMT -5
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Post by Nina on Jan 4, 2023 14:07:09 GMT -5
“Mhhm not sure,” Nina mumbled. It was hard to disagree with someone so close to your face. Her eyes focused on the silver bauble hanging from one of Elagastus's horns. “Plants would have the right to find it somewhat self-centred,” she smirked. “Or waterfalls. Then again, perhaps that only supports your actual point.”
In Nina's view of the world, the world was a rich tapestry of viewpoints, many of which may not be sapient and some which may not even be alive.
“It's not the meaning of most things that I question.” The girl continued. The silver thread swung lightly with Elagastus's breath, a bit like a pendulum. As she gestured, her hand was drawn closer to it like a cat's paw. “And I guess I got sidetracked with thinking of death. Rather, what actually confuses me is suffering.”
Left. Right. She blinked slowly.
“Sometimes, there's so much of it.” Nina's voice shook. “I can't bear to find it a meaning. I know that...” She spoke on, mechanically. “I've heard that by engulfing it into one's story, as a challenge to be surpassed, one can move beyond it.” A chill ran down her shoulders. Where had she heard that? Was it but one of those things that Gray had planted deep, deep below her conscious, when trying to make her sharper? Lessons imparted to her kindly, that he had learned from torturing others.
Nina clenched her hair, but she felt vulnerable without her beads.
“But sometimes that doesn't happen.” Nina whispered. “People are broken, or perish. One can speak of the meaning suffering has for others, perhaps through pushing them to change.” The girl watched carefully. Perhaps there was no better person to speak of this with, for the entirety of Helsreach was one big change, and the person in front of her had triggered it. “But sometimes that doesn't happen either and, either way, it feels...disrespectful...” Nina struggled with the words, “...small-making, to make it the only meaning.” She clenched her fist as if to express the idea. Her fingers brushed her temples, and she watched slightly sideways as she tilted her head. “And there's also the fact...if meaning is all in the mind, how much should we allow the mind to shape it?”
Perhaps she would have never thought of these things, had the Clocktower not acted up recently.
Had the clock hand carrying a hundred souls not been lying on her breast.
“Perhaps it's meaningless to try to explain reason without emotion,” Nina murmured.
For emotions coloured the lenses through which one saw the world.
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